Harry Potter and the Weapons of Mass Destruction

February 19th, 2003

Michael Alan Chary reckons Harry Potter needs to adopt a new strategy if he's to survive the series:

What Harry clearly needs to do now is move to Gary, or at least buy a some Muggle firearms and take the fight to Voldemorte on his own Muggle terms. Voldemorte probably won't even think of Muggle weapons. If Harry keeps some sarin canisters and maybe places a few claymore mines around the house, Voldemorte might have a rude awakening. (Yes, I'm still thinking in Ultraviolet-what-can-modern-weapons-do terms.) Nine people with one curse? How about a hundred people with one tablespoon. What he needs is an anti-toxin spell and the rest is cake.

Voldemorte shouts "Avara…" and before he can get the second word out he's dead because Harry's hit him with the some nerve toxin followed by a couple rounds from a tech-9. This does require him to be somewhere other than Britain, though. He should move to America. Probably Los Angeles.

Anyway, if Voldy takes him captive in front of all his followers again, Harry can avoid the wand side effect by casting his spell on himself and take out all his enemies with one canister of Saddam's finest.

Hogwart's year 9, Harry Potter and the Weapons of Mass Destruction. He probably needs to take out Azkaban and the dementors first though. Either a pocket nuke or a lot of C4.

Now that sounds like a recipe for a Harry Potter book I'd read. Reminds me of one of my favourite Buffy lines: "What's that do?"

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