I Will Break Up With Your Boyfriend
December 29th, 2003
Hilarious eBay auctions #345,675:
Item number: 2975483845 - I will break up with your boyfriend
Are you in a relationship going nowhere? Does your boyfriend punch you?
Well, maybe it’s time to move on. Hi, my name is Tommy.
For the special winning bidder, I will call your boyfriend from a payphone just outside the Taco Bell in North Hollywood and tell the punk-bitch it’s over.
For an additional fee, I will write him a three page letter outlining the steps he took to screw up everything.
He will know that it’s over, and it will save you years of heartach and thousands in therapy. 100% money-back guarantee. If he stays, you not pays.
High bidder is responsible for telephone charges.
Why break up alone when I’ll do it over the phone?
Service also available for girlfriends, gay men, gay women, multiple-partner relationships(additional fee applies), and small farm animals…
[Via Neil Gaiman]
April 8th, 2004 at 10:52 pm
hey my name is melissa and i have been with this guy for like 8 months well things arnt working out and um….. well the other day we was into it and he called me is baby momma’s name ugh … i could not belive it but i wanna leave so bad but i know that all he is gonna do is cry cry cry he is so stupid sometimes can ya help me on some words to say or maybe even um… some sneaking shit to do ? well email me back because i dont wanna be with him anymore :( i love him but … i cant take this not being happy shit anymore :( thanks your truley melissa :*
May 24th, 2004 at 9:00 pm
he’s gonna kill me help
June 10th, 2004 at 4:14 pm
Oh my god! He’s going to kill me! He’s going to take a stake to my heart and then he’s going to skin me to make bacon strips! Oh god, the horror!
June 24th, 2004 at 4:47 am
MY FRIENDS BOYFRIEND IS A BIG WUSS. SHE HATES HIM A LOT, BUT HE DOESNT SEEM TO GET THE POINT. I THINK HES A BIG PUSSY. SOMEONE NEEDS TO BREAK THESE TWO UP FOR ME.