Fear the Beaver

May 31st, 2004

In the wake of a discussion on soc.history.what-if about the consequences of beavers being inadvertently released into the wild in South America and spreading across the continent, Raymond Speer came up with a wickedly funny excerpt from the script for an alternate timeline version of Charlton Heston’s 1954 ‘classic’ The Naked Jungle:

THE RIVERFRONT- DAY-OPTICAL

Charlton Heston’s point of view. The innummerable beavers cover ground and land next to the choked off river, and their dam is roughly like the Hoover Dam, but made of wood.

REVERSE - HESTON- CLOSE

HESTON: “Stop nibbling on my property, you damn dirty beavers!”

[…]

It goes on from there, and gets much dafter - not to mention less filmable.

Go read…

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