Having a baby
December 5th, 2005
Courtesy of McSweeney's: I Don't Know What the Big Deal About Having a Baby Is, by Wendy Molyneux:
If there's one thing I'm tired of, it's hearing about how hard it is to have a baby. I hate to break the news to you, but people have been having babies for literally billions of years. In the olden days, women would have their babies right out there in the field, or on the back of a dinosaur, or, when we were still fish-people, right there in the stream. Then they would put the new baby in a crib made of stones and let a brontosaurus watch it or whatever.
But ask any modern pregnant woman whether she'd let a dinosaur watch her baby and she'll freak out as if you've just said the most outlandish thing ever. I guess irrationality is just one of the many so-called symptoms of pregnancy. [...]
[Via 13 days from monday]
December 6th, 2005 at 09:01
You have, obviously, no idea what you are talking about. God forbid that you should ever have a baby. I pitty the poor creature.Comparing pots and babies; are you on something or what?
December 6th, 2005 at 20:34
Or, alternatively, perhaps I'm quoting from and linking to a humorous article from a satirical web site.
I think the bit about getting the dinosaur to do the babysitting might just offer a clue one way or the other…
December 7th, 2005 at 02:08
Having a baby, in itself may or may not be hard. It depends on how easy it was getting pregnant. On the other hand, undoubtedly, raising a baby is not an easy feat – assuming you are the slightest bit concerned with the type of person they grow up to be. Billions of years ago, kids didn't exactly face the same obstacles that they do today. Yes, in the old days women had babies in the field and went back to work – they had to because they understood the importance of a hard days work. Unfortunately, a lot of people today that do have babies, find it easy because it's not them that are primarily raising them.!
December 7th, 2005 at 20:22
I just had to laugh when I read this. I am due anyday now with my second child. It is so true that women have been doing this for a long time. We have gotten away from more natural childbirth and childrearing. Thanks so much for the laugh!!!!
December 8th, 2005 at 23:35
Raising a child is the toughest job ever. Even back in the day. Who do you think taught the women that they need to have their children, go back to work, and still feed and nurture them. Teaching a child all its life skills along with battling society while rasing a child with morals is tough. A dinosaur would be doomed with such tasks.
Having a child in a stream or field now, is like a death sentance, as I am sure it was then. How many women die giving birth today compared to the dinosaur era? Sanitation and medication is a technical progress that saves lives and anguish.
December 9th, 2005 at 23:47
It is simply untrue that women ever wanted to have their babies and go right back to work. I imagine that this urban myth comes from areas and times when subjugated women were 'FORCED' by their owners or their circumstances to do so.
Today, even remote (?) cultures enjoy very elaborate after birth rituals which usually include much pampering and rest for the mother. How 'bout it?
Childbirth is hard work, rewarding and most beneficial for mother and babe when done naturally, with minimal technology and with care and consideration for the both.
We may have come a long way from our birthing past, but a rightful return to the simplicity and normality of birth does not include overlooking the postpartum needs of mothers and babies- the most under appreciated area of maternity care in this country.
December 11th, 2005 at 22:44
Having a baby can be easy for some people, but for the most part, if you did any research before making that foolish comment, you would have realized that many women and children from billions of years ago were dying. More women die from having a baby than i'd like to think about. Most women who never had any problems can't even fathom the idea of the possibility of having a difficult time getting pregnant or a difficult time maintaing pregnant, much less giving bith to a live baby becasue they never had that problem. Most people find it hard to put themselves in other people's shoes and try to imagine themselves having that very same problem. Many women have miscarriages even before they knew they were pregnant. Unfortunately, there is only a small window of opportunity for any woman to conceive and most doctors don't really tell you this, but you will only conceive 3 days out of 30 days per month depending on when you ovulate. You should probably get your facts right before printing any other foolish talk. Perhaps read A Child is Born by Lennart Nilsson and you will learn the truth about this topic.
December 13th, 2005 at 06:16
I totally disagree with you Wendy. I have been with my Husband since Junior High School and we have concieved babies, but they never quiet make it I lost my third baby in September. The doctors tell me that everything is fine with us. So if you sit there and say it is easy trust me it is not. But since you think you know everything then tell me if you had personally gone through any issues.
December 13th, 2005 at 17:03
I will just say one thing is that i get your point and i am with you. And people she is not realy suggesting the animal to watch over a baby!!! She saying that a lot of people make a bigger deal that all ready is. Please that it easy is not like there are realy dinosours in these time.
December 14th, 2005 at 11:18
Um, I hope this is a joke (if so, it's not funny enough to come across clearly as one) – but if it's not, allow me to point out that dinosaurs and humans were never on the planet at the same time (thus, delivery on one's back would be an impossibility) and… women have given birth without much fuss for years, true, but they also died quite frequently due to the lack of knowledge and medical intervention available today. Today, it is rare for a woman to die while giving birth (back then, childbirth was the leading cause of death for women). Be thankful and a bit more humble that you live in an age of technology, higher understanding, and comfort.
Perhaps Mother Nature is doing her best to clear us off the earth, much like the fate of the dinosaurs you mention, and she is using all sorts of things to achieve her goal (from AIDS and cancer to kill existing human beings, to reproductive complications that make it hard, or impossible, for us to procreate at all – which is damaging to the heart and ego should one have to suffer through it, since conceiving is the one true reason for existing – a point made clear by nature and our very existence). Perhaps she is making us less and less intelligent, take yourself as an example, in an effort to render us useless and unarmed against the weapons I've mentioned above? If I am correct, we are all in big trouble. If I am not, you're still either severly un-funny and/or completely ignorant (which makes me sad all the same).
December 15th, 2005 at 18:04
It is funny to me that all you women are getting your panties in a twist over whether or not we really had our babies in streams and dinosaurs watched them. You are completely missing the entire point of this article. Pregnancy is one of the greatest things on earth and most rewarding but it is not rocket science and it wasn't made to be. Millions of women have done it for millions of years (hence the dinosaur remark) and it is something that does not need to be made more complicted than it is. It is beautiful and wonderful to be sure but do we really need all the drama that comes with it hand and hand these days?
December 16th, 2005 at 15:27
finally someone who gets the point thank you SARAH!!!!
December 17th, 2005 at 00:10
Hear, hear!
December 22nd, 2005 at 08:40
No, I think these women get what you were going for, your little article just ain't funny is all. And the point it makes is stupid.
January 6th, 2006 at 04:49
I hope the people without a sense of humor do the rest of us a favor and decide against reproducing.
Seriously. Remove head from sphincter. It's a joke.