Shocking

March 22nd, 2008

Coming soon to an airline near you?

United States Patent 6,933,851
Hahne, et al. August 23, 2005

Air travel security method, system and device

Abstract
A method of providing air travel security for passengers traveling via an aircraft comprises situating a remotely activatable electric shock device on each of the passengers in position to deliver a disabling electrical shock when activated; and arming the electric shock devices for subsequent selective activation by a selectively operable remote control disposed within the aircraft. The remotely activatable electric shock devices each have activation circuitry responsive to the activating signal transmitted from the selectively operable remote control means. The activated electric shock device is operable to deliver the disabling electrical shock to that passenger.

Or, to put it another way, making every passenger wear a taser. What could possibly go wrong?

[Via Bruce Schneier, via Techdirt]

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The irresistible syllogism of Superman’s cape

March 22nd, 2008

Michael Chabon on unitard theory:

When I was a boy, I had a religious-school teacher named Mr. Spector, whose job was to confront us with the peril we presented to ourselves. Jewish Ethics was the name of the class. We must have been eight or nine.

[...]

The one time I felt my soul to be in danger was the Sunday Mr. Spector raised the ethical problem of escapism, particularly as it was experienced in the form of comic books. That day, we started off with a fine story about a boy who loved Superman so much that he tied a red towel around his neck, climbed up to the roof of his house, and, with a cry of “Up, up, and away,” leaped to his death. There was known to have been such a boy, Mr. Spector informed us—at least one verifiable boy, so enraptured and so betrayed by the false dream of Superman that it killed him.

The explicit lesson of the story was that what was found between the covers of a comic book was fantasy, and “fantasy” meant pretty lies, the consumption of which failed to prepare you for what lay outside those covers. Fantasy rendered you unfit to face “reality” and its hard pavement. Fantasy betrayed you, and thus, by implication, your wishes, your dreams and longings, everything you carried around inside your head that only you and Superman and Elliot S! Maggin (exclamation point and all, the principal Superman writer circa 1971) could understand — all these would betray you, too. There were ancillary arguments to be made as well, about the culpability of those who produced such fare, sold it to minors, or permitted their children to bring it into the house.

These arguments were mostly lost on me, a boy who consumed a dozen comic books a week, all of them cheerfully provided to him by his (apparently iniquitous) father. Sure, I might not be prepared for reality — point granted — but, on the other hand, if I ever found myself in the Bottle City of Kandor, under the bell jar in the Fortress of Solitude, I would know not to confuse Superman’s Kryptonian double (Van-Zee) with Clark Kent’s (Vol-Don). Rather, what struck me, with the force of a blow, was recognition, a profound moral recognition of the implicit, indeed the secret, premise of the behavior of the boy on the roof. For that fool of a boy had not been doomed by the deceitful power of comic books, which after all were only bundles of paper, staples, and ink, and couldn’t hurt anybody. That boy had been killed by the irresistible syllogism of Superman’s cape. [...]

[Via kottke.org]

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The Other Other OTHER America

March 21st, 2008

Paul Ford is all fired up:

You know what, DavidSimonCreatorOfTheWire? I just read the five-thousandth interview with you and enough. And you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to create a TV series myself and my show is going to last five MILLION seasons and it is going to BLOW YOUR MIND. It's going to be set in even worse parts of Baltimore, maybe in the sewers, and it will show HBO viewers not just the “Other America” but the Other Other OTHER America. The America that's so other that the Other America will watch one episode and say, what the fuck? How amazing is it that he is paid well to show us this despair? Get us our laurel wreath because it's crownin' time. [...]

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Give a man a bike…

March 21st, 2008

Courtesy of Desmond Tutu:

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. Teach a man to cycle and he will realize fishing is stupid and boring.

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Absurd Entries

March 20th, 2008

Ammon Shea on the Oxford English Dictionary:

Absurd Entries is the name that I gave to a certain class of definition that I would come across every so often when reading the OED. They are rarer than the mistakes, and considerably more fun to read. These are the extremely rare moments when the OED does something that is so inexplicable that you have to close the book and check the cover to make sure that it is indeed the same book that you thought. I have decided, without giving too much thought to the matter, to divide them into two separate categories: ‘Blatant Disregard for the Reader’s Level of Education’ and ‘What Were They Thinking?’

In the category of Blatant Disregard, the past editors of the OED had seemingly come to the conclusion that since they sat around all day reading about words, accruing a monstrous knowledge of vocabulary, their readers must have done the same, and therefore it was not necessary to talk down to anyone with the definition. For instance trondhjemite is defined as ‘Any leucocratic tonalite, esp. one in which the plagioclase is oligoclase’. I have my doubts as to whether anyone has ever thought to themselves ‘I wonder what trondhjemite means?’ But if someone did, and went to look it up in the OED, it seems unlikely that this definition would clear things up much.

[Via Daring Fireball]

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A New Pope

March 19th, 2008

Adam Buxton's A New Pope.

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Ahistorical

March 19th, 2008

Paradoxical:

International Association of Time Travelers: Members' Forum

Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War

11/15/2104

At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl's cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!

At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.

At 18:06:59, BigChill wrote:
Take it easy on the kid, SilverFox316; everybody kills Hitler on their first trip. I did. It always gets fixed within a few minutes, what's the harm? [...]

[Via jwz]

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Ultimate Machine

March 19th, 2008

Arthur C Clarke’s Ultimate Machine, from Harper's, August 1958:

I cannot leave Bell Labs without mentioning one more device which I saw there, and which haunts me as it haunts everyone else who has ever seen it in action. It is the Ultimate Machine – the End of the Line. Beyond it there is Nothing. It sits on Claude Shannon’s desk driving people mad. (Or sat, as Shannon is now at MIT.) Nothing could look simpler. It is merely a small wooden casket the size and shape of a cigar-box, with a single switch on one face. When you throw the switch, there is an angry, purposeful buzzing. The lid slowly rises, and from beneath it emerges a hand. The hand reaches down, turns the switch off, and retreats into the box. With the finality of a closing coffin, the lid snaps shut, the buzzing ceases, and peace reigns once more. The psychological effect, if you do not know what to expect, is devastating. There is something unspeakably sinister about a machine that does nothing – absolutely nothing – except switch itself off.

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Arthur C Clarke

March 18th, 2008

Arthur C Clarke has died, aged 90.

Time to dig out the Collected Stories in memory of the greatest English science fiction writer of the 20th century.

[Via Whatever]

1 Comment »

Shiny

March 18th, 2008

iPod Shuffle bling.

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Buffering…

March 18th, 2008

Accurate.

[Via GromBlog]

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6 Stages of Drunkenness

March 18th, 2008

The 6 Stages of Drunkenness in Japanese Cellphone Charms. Some aspects of human behaviour really are the same the world over.

[Via Japundit]

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Photographers' rights

March 17th, 2008

I hope Austin Mitchell's Early Day Motion attracts the wide support it merits:

That this House is concerned to encourage the spread and enjoyment of photography as the most genuine and accessible people's art; deplores the apparent increase in the number of reported incidents in which the police, police community support officers (PCSOs) or wardens attempt to stop street photography and order the deletion of photographs or the confiscation of cards, cameras or film on various specious ground such as claims that some public buildings are strategic or sensitive, that children and adults can only be photographed with their written permission, that photographs of police and PCSOs are illegal, or that photographs may be used by terrorists; points out that photography in public places and streets is not only enjoyable but perfectly legal; regrets all such efforts to stop, discourage or inhibit amateur photographers taking pictures in public places, many of which are in any case festooned with closed circuit television cameras; and urges the Home Office and the Association of Chief Police Officers to agree on a photography code for the information of officers on the ground, setting out the public's right to photograph public places thus allowing photographers to enjoy their hobby without officious interference or unjustified suspicion.

While we're on the subject, this brief guide to the rights of photographers in the UK is worth a look.

[Via Crooked Timber]

1 Comment »

Superficielle

March 16th, 2008

Judging by the photos, Michel de Broin's Superficielle is an oddly haunting piece – a special effect from a science fiction film made flesh.

[Via Andrew Sullivan]

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Whores

March 16th, 2008

New York's new governor gives good quote:

"Just so we don't have to go through this whole resignation thing again," one ballsy reporter asked, "have you ever patronized a prostitute?" Patterson thought for a minute. "Only the lobbyists," he said.

[Via Foreign Policy Blog]

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Cruelty to animals

March 15th, 2008

The Worst Invention Ever?

[Via Whatever]

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Haunted

March 15th, 2008

The story of the Haunted Door.

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Meanwhile, Lord Voldemort gathers his forces…

March 15th, 2008

Slate's readers suggest sports metaphors that explain Clinton versus Obama:

Fictional Winner: Quiddich from the Harry Potter novels. Its rules are opaque to most outside Hogwarts and many within it. Teams fly around on their broomsticks, scoring 10 points for making a "basket" by putting the quaffle through the hoop (winning a state). At the same time, 150 points is awarded for catching the snitch, a tiny gold ball that buzzes around elusively (like the superdelegates). A Seeker is the only player on each team who can catch the snitch. Obama, a first-year seeker like Harry himself, is likely in the house of Gryffindor. Hillary is from Ravenclaw, the smart, hard-working, teensy bit dull house. While everyone zooms around on their brooms, two enchanted balls (the press) fly around trying to knock them all off.

[Via rc3.org]

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Sorted

March 14th, 2008

I wonder if Jarvis Cocker has seen this.

[For the record, I like the Joe Jackson/William Shatner cover version quite a bit, but the Pulp original is simply unsurpassable.]

[Via jwz]

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Mantillas

March 14th, 2008

Photo of the Week. Quite possibly photo of the month, come to that.

[Via Rebecca's Pocket]

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