July 13th, 2013
Marina Hyde probably isn't going to get an OBE any time soon…
In the movies, all royal births, marriages, and deaths are announced from a balcony, to a sea of lowly subjects in a courtyard below. How and why these ready-to-whoop peasants are so conveniently on hand is never made clear: perhaps they have nothing better to do than wait around on the off-chance of news. Possibly they have been kettled there by the Ruritanian equivalent of the Met.
Against such fictions, Clarence House's plans for the announcement of the birth of the royal baby have the whiff of bathos. "We wanted to retain some of the theatre of the notice," a spokesman – who has obviously never seen The Princess Bride – recently revealed. Thus, when the baby is born, a piece of Buckingham Palace writing paper will be signed by those who have assisted the Duchess of Cambridge in her obstetric endeavour, and this piece of paper will be driven to Buckingham Palace, where it will be displayed on an easel in the palace forecourt, like the end credits of a By Royal Appointment episode of One Born Every Minute. One Born Every Generation, if you will. [...]