Dinosaurs! WTF?

December 7th, 2013

Dinosaurs! WTF? | A blog covering the conservative dinosaur readiness movement might just be the greatest blog of 2013.

Take, for example, this post on the Top 5 Most Awful Tyrannosaurs:

3. Nanotyrannus

Nanotyrannus was only about a third of the size of the biggest tyrannosaurs, which you might think would preclude it from this list. The problem with that line of thinking is that a third of huge is still pretty freaking big. Think of it in terms of sliders. It doesn't matter whether you eat one 12oz burger or three 4oz burgers, you're still over eating. It works the same way with pack hunting tyrannosaurs. Dividing a tyrannosaur into three smaller tyrannosaurs doesn't mean you're going to be alright, it just means that the tyrannosaurs will be able to cover all of your exits.

Hell, a seventeen foot long Nanotyrannus could probably hide in your garage. Are you going to go to your garage, be ambushed by a Nanotyrannus, and be like, "Oh, this is fine. This tyrannosaur is only seventeen feet long."

No. You'll be like, "I am dead now because it turns out that the size of a tyrannosaur is not necessarily a major factor in my ability to survive it eating my head, beyond a certain critical size which is likely somewhere in the twelve to fourteen foot-" DEAD

Also, because that same post ended like this:

The only reason T. Rex didn't evolve wings is because the sky doesn't bleed. Tyrannosaurs Rex only had two fingers on each hand because scissors always wins if you stab hard enough. The biggest Tyrannosaurus Rex ever found was named Sue because you could fit both Johnnie Cochran and Mike Geragos in her gaping jaws. T. Rex didn't go extinct, murder got tired.

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