Neckbeard on top. Party on the bottom.

July 10th, 2014

You've disrupted the world. Now it's time to disrupt your outfit.

You're a rich white man.

You're used to being listened to. But while you're jabbering away, all anyone can see is your garbage shirt that you bought for twenty bucks and have been wearing all year, shoved nastily into your shiny off-the-rack suit. Why would you do this to your brand?

We're opinionated homosexuals.

Your days are busy. In the morning you're going to a sympathetic tech blog to defend yourself from charges of sexual assault; in the afternoon you're explaining to your board why it's fine that you're dating a direct report in your organization. Well, you should stop doing all that, but at least you should stop doing that while looking like a fucking putz. That's where we come in. We're the gays of Shirterate. And we're the first startup with a target audience of rich straight men. (Haha, JK, we're not the first, we're just the first to say it.) […]

[Via The Awl]

No Comments »

*Sob*!

July 9th, 2014

Calvin has one last talk with Hobbes. I'm not going to quote a single line from this: if you know who "Calvin" and "Hobbes" are then you want to read this in full.

The only improvement I could possibly desire would be to have Bill Watterson draw the story, but then I'm not sure I could bear to read that story with Watterson's art.1

[Via Extenuating Circumstances]

  1. I got quite emotional enough just reading it in prose form, thanks.

No Comments »

Time Travel Lover

July 6th, 2014

Time Travel Lover:

No Comments »

The Gunfighter

June 26th, 2014

The Gunfighter:

Director Eric Kissack, writer Kevin Tenglin, and producer Sarah Platt have fun with both the classic Western and the convention of the omniscient narrator in their short "The Gunfighter." But even more than nodding to old Hollywood, the filmmakers call back to Mad Magazine, Stan Freberg, Firesign Theater, National Lampoon, and all the other comedians over the decades who have pulled popular culture apart so they could play with the pieces.

[Via The Dissolve]

No Comments »

Making a rich text editor in a browser is an UNHOLY act.

June 22nd, 2014

Paul Ford documents his experience of using Kinja to write content:

the only button left for me to hit is the (HTML) button but god help me i'm honestly scared.

Honestly, quoting text from his post doesn't do it justice. Follow the link to get the full effect.

[Via Waxy.org: Links Miniblog]

Comments Off

Eating with research

June 20th, 2014

Having been pressed by her university to complete paperwork documenting how she spends her time, Mary Beard came across this model response from an academic of a previous generation:

In my 24 hour continental timetable I divide my time each day as follows:

2 hours of pure sleep

1 hour of sleep dreaming about administration

2 hours of sleep dreaming about research

1 hour of sleep dreaming about teaching

½ hour of pure eating

1 hour of eating with research (= reading)

1 hour of eating with colleagues and of conversation on teaching and research

½ hour of pure walking

½ hour of walking with research (= thinking)

12 ½ hours of research with preparation for teaching (= reading, writing or also thinking)

1 hour of official teaching without thinking

1 hour of official administration without thinking

___

24

For ever yours

Arnaldo Momigliano

'Nuff said, I think.

Comments Off

Made It So

June 18th, 2014

You're never going to be able to unsee this:

[Via MeFi user Rock Steady, posting here]

Comments Off

HelloWorld.arnoldc

June 17th, 2014

Never mind Swift, the programming language of the future is clearly ArnoldC:

ArnoldC

Programming language based on the one-liners of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Motivation

Although the one-liners of Arnold Schwarzenegger are fairly well known the true semantics of the uttering is yet to be understood. This project tries to discover new meanings from the Arnold movies with the means of computer science.

HelloWorld.arnoldc

IT'S SHOWTIME
TALK TO THE HAND "hello world"
YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED

Be sure to consult the wiki for further details.

[Via Waxy.org: Links Miniblog]

Comments Off

Gardenzilla

June 13th, 2014

Talking of Kaiju, anyone for a Rampaging Kaiju Garden Gnome?

It all starts out so innocently. You might notice one or two on the ground under a rose bush or near a climbing vine, but you don't think much of it. Then one day you go outside and realize your entire garden has been overrun. What are your options? You could coat everything with some highly-toxic pesticide and hope for the best. Or you could install a Kaiju in your garden, guaranteed to get rid of those pesky gnomes. This guy spares gnone.

[Via web-goddess]

Comments Off

Godzilla (2014): The Abridged Script

June 13th, 2014

Godzilla (2014): The Abridged Script is pretty funny…

FADE IN:

EXT. THE PHILIPPINES – 1999

KEN WATANABE and SALLY HAWKINS, who work for a SECRET ORGANIZATION that is so top secret they put their LOGO on their helicopters, and have a LOGO, arrive at a MINING SITE.

MINING SITE GUY

Welcome, Ken and Sally. Check out this enormous fossil we discovered! There's also a giant hole leading to a giant trench where something giant escaped and is headed towards populated areas, but fuck that.

KEN WATANABE

(stunned)

My God, it's… amazing.

SALLY HAWKINS

And look, two egg-sack things, one of which has hatched! Well, I'm sure Godzilla will be along soon to take care of it, restore balance to Nature etcetera, because that's what he does, right Ken?

KEN WATANABE

(stunned)

My God, it's… still the prologue, Sally, so not yet. […]

Be sure not to miss the caption on the still at the start of the script. Why didn't I notice that when I first saw a clip from that scene in a trailer?1

  1. Answer: I was too busy gaping at one of the first decent views we got of this version of the King of the Monsters.

Comments Off

Oops!

June 8th, 2014

Cruelty to a dumb animal:

Comments Off

MJT

June 3rd, 2014

This excerpt1 2 from Mike Judge's Silicon Valley is a beautiful illustration of what can happen when a bunch of geeks take an idea and run with it.

[Via More Words, Deeper Hole]

  1. Embedding not allowed, unfortunately – you'll have to follow the link to YouTube to see it.
  2. Dialogue and subject matter are probably NSFW.

Comments Off

The Sea Witch Sets The Record Straight

May 31st, 2014

The Sea Witch Sets The Record Straight:

I didn't take her voice for myself. I want to set the record straight on that, right up front. People got a lot of crazy notions in their heads, the way the story got around, and that was one of them.

I'm not saying I never did an evil deed – anyone who says they haven't is lying through their teeth – but I didn't take her voice for myself. I didn't need it. I've got a perfectly fine voice, thank you, trained by whale divas, and it's mine. […]

[Via MetaFilter]

Comments Off

Keeping my spelling-checker busy

May 31st, 2014

From Paul Ford's It Is Impossible to Believe How Mindblowing These Amazing New Jobs Are:

Are you a native full-stack visiongineer who lives to marketech platishforms? Then come work with us as an in-house NEOLOGIZER and reimaginatorialize the verbalsphere! If you are a slang-slinger who is equahome in brandegy and advertorial, a total expert in brandtech and techvertoribrand, and a first-class synergymnast, then this will be your rockupation! Throw ginfluence mingles and webutante balls, the world is your joyster. The percandidate will have at least five years working as a ideator and envisionary or equiperience.

A paragraph which inspired by far the best comment I've read today:

Jeb Hoge
DAMMIT, WORDS MEAN THINGS

Comments Off

Ayn Rand's Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

May 30th, 2014

From Ayn Rand's Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone:

Harry and Ron stood before the Mirror of Erised. "My God," Ron said. "Harry, it's your dead parents."

Harry's eyes flicked momentarily over to the mirror. "So it is. This information is neither useful nor productive. Let us leave at once, to assist Hagrid in his noble enterprise of raising as many dragon eggs as he sees fit, in spite of our country's unjust dragon-trading restrictions."

"But it's your parents, Harry," Ron said. Ron never really got it.

Harry sighed. "The fundamental standard for all relationships is the trader principle, Ron."

"I don't understand," Ron said.

"Of course you don't," said Harry affectionately. "This principle holds that we should interact with people on the basis of the values we can trade with them – values of all sorts, including common interests in art, sports or music, similar philosophical outlooks, political beliefs, sense of life, and more. Dead people have no value according to the trader principle."

"But they gave birth to y–"

"I made myself, Ron," Harry said firmly.

Wait until you get to the line at the very end about Hermione. Classic.

[Via kottke.org]

Comments Off

Spoilers! (Not really.)

May 17th, 2014

I'm not going to supply any context at all for Guy thinks his sister is hot because it's so much better that way. Trust me.

[Via Ask MetaFilter]

Comments Off

9% of Brits think that pop music is better now than it was 20 years ago

May 14th, 2014

15 weird things that 9% of Britons say they believe:

If Labour are having a tough time in the polls, the Lib Dems are facing a European wipe out.

The latest YouGov figures on how people are intending to vote in the European Elections put Lib Dem support at 9%. Our friends at UsVsTh3m noticed this was significantly lower than the number of people who would be prepared to have sex with an android.

We wondered what other things more than 9% of the British public believe, would be prepared to do, or have done…

[...]

10. Eat testicles
Not just the preserve of Bushtucker Trials in I'm A Celeb, 9% of people in the UK said they would be prepared to eat animal testicles. Remember, that's the same amount of people who say they'll vote Lib Dem.

Gloating? Perhaps. But it's a welcome distraction from contemplating UKIP's polling numbers.

[Via LinkMachineGo!]

Comments Off

Rejoice!

May 5th, 2014

There's a new episode of the Word Podcast:

Includes: world debut of enthralling new parlour game Rock Poker; Neil Finn's Two-Way Family Favourites; the two tribes of Adam Ant Nation; Justin Timberlake's moveable feast; why long-form TV is a sinister plot to steal our lives; a pathetic attempt to read a whole paragraph of Mark Ellen's book "Rock Stars Stole My Life" without laughing; plus uncalled for interjections from Fraser Lewry's amazing wi-fi rabbit and your questions answered.

[Via David Hepworth's Notebook]

Comments Off

Obviously, the dog needs drones!

May 2nd, 2014

The next six months will be crucial…1

It's now been around six months since we introduced Molly, the new cat, to the household. We were told at the rescue centre that one of her main personality traits was an abiding hatred of all other cats, without distinction. Observing her adventures in the neighborhood, we have found this to be true.

We can add that she tolerates humans and dislikes dogs intensely, in particular our dog, Katie. Since Katie is a Jack Russell accustomed to leading the non-human hierarchy in the house and jealous of any attention paid by resident humans to other animals, this has made life interesting. In fact, our house has become the contested territory in a four legged combat that bears quite a remarkable resemblance to a classic Maoist People's War, with cat and dog as insurgent and regime respectively. [...]

  1. Credit where credit's due: post title borrowed wholesale from this comment, link text from this one.

Comments Off

'You are an expert in all these technologies, and that's a good thing, because that expertise let you spend only six hours figuring out what went wrong, as opposed to losing your job.'

April 30th, 2014

Programming Sucks:

Imagine joining an engineering team. You're excited and full of ideas, probably just out of school and a world of clean, beautiful designs, awe-inspiring in their aesthetic unity of purpose, economy, and strength. You start by meeting Mary, project leader for a bridge in a major metropolitan area. Mary introduces you to Fred, after you get through the fifteen security checks installed by Dave because Dave had his sweater stolen off his desk once and Never Again. Fred only works with wood, so you ask why he's involved because this bridge is supposed to allow rush-hour traffic full of cars full of mortal humans to cross a 200-foot drop over rapids. Don't worry, says Mary, Fred's going to handle the walkways. What walkways? Well Fred made a good case for walkways and they're going to add to the bridge's appeal. Of course, they'll have to be built without railings, because there's a strict no railings rule enforced by Phil, who's not an engineer. [Multiple additional constraints, pet ideas and poorly described extraneous features omitted - see original post for the full, hideous and hilarious set...] After the introductions are made, you are invited to come up with some new ideas, but you don't have any because you're a propulsion engineer and don't know anything about bridges.

Would you drive across this bridge? No. If it somehow got built, everybody involved would be executed. Yet some version of this dynamic wrote every single program you have ever used, banking software, websites, and a ubiquitously used program that was supposed to protect information on the internet but didn't. [...]

In all fairness to programmers everywhere, this is at least as much about how programming is organised on large-scale projects ((And in particular how the specifications are arrived at long before anyone gets to write a single line of code as it is about issues resulting from programmers' proclivities.

[Via MetaFilter]

Comments Off

Page 1 of 10612345...102030...Last »