December 14th, 2014
This Useless toilet paper machine is, there's no denying it, pretty useless. And very funny.
November 30th, 2014
Neil Gaiman Reads "Bad Neil Gaiman" Stories. Be sure to stick around for the last story (which Gaiman declares to be his favourite.)
[Via The Millions]
November 12th, 2014
The truncated pony is weird and all, but my favourite is the man I call the Human Silverback
August 23rd, 2014
Anyone for a noPhone?
A technology-free alternative to constant hand-to-phone contact.
With a thin, light and completely wireless design, the noPhone acts as a surrogate to any smart mobile device, enabling you to always have a rectangle of smooth, cold plastic to clutch without forgoing any potential engagement with your direct environment. Never again experience the unsettling feeling of flesh on flesh when closing your hand.
The noPhone simulates the exact weight and dimensions of your most beloved gadget in order to alleviate any feelings of inadequacy generated by the absence of a real smartphone.
August 4th, 2014
Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML
July 28th, 2014
In the wake of This American Life host Ira Glass commenting that he found Shakespeare's plays difficult to relate to, loisbeckett brings us This American Lear:
Bravo! Author! More! More!
July 23rd, 2014
By some margin my favourite response to the whole Thor-is-being-replaced-by-a-woman fuss:
July 10th, 2014
You're a rich white man.
You're used to being listened to. But while you're jabbering away, all anyone can see is your garbage shirt that you bought for twenty bucks and have been wearing all year, shoved nastily into your shiny off-the-rack suit. Why would you do this to your brand?
We're opinionated homosexuals.
Your days are busy. In the morning you're going to a sympathetic tech blog to defend yourself from charges of sexual assault; in the afternoon you're explaining to your board why it's fine that you're dating a direct report in your organization. Well, you should stop doing all that, but at least you should stop doing that while looking like a fucking putz. That's where we come in. We're the gays of Shirterate. And we're the first startup with a target audience of rich straight men. (Haha, JK, we're not the first, we're just the first to say it.) […]
[Via The Awl]
July 9th, 2014
Calvin has one last talk with Hobbes. I'm not going to quote a single line from this: if you know who "Calvin" and "Hobbes" are then you want to read this in full.
The only improvement I could possibly desire would be to have Bill Watterson draw the story, but then I'm not sure I could bear to read that story with Watterson's art.1
- I got quite emotional enough just reading it in prose form, thanks. ↩
June 26th, 2014
Director Eric Kissack, writer Kevin Tenglin, and producer Sarah Platt have fun with both the classic Western and the convention of the omniscient narrator in their short "The Gunfighter." But even more than nodding to old Hollywood, the filmmakers call back to Mad Magazine, Stan Freberg, Firesign Theater, National Lampoon, and all the other comedians over the decades who have pulled popular culture apart so they could play with the pieces.
[Via The Dissolve]
June 22nd, 2014
Paul Ford documents his experience of using Kinja to write content:
the only button left for me to hit is the (HTML) button but god help me i'm honestly scared.
Honestly, quoting text from his post doesn't do it justice. Follow the link to get the full effect.
[Via Waxy.org: Links Miniblog]
June 20th, 2014
Having been pressed by her university to complete paperwork documenting how she spends her time, Mary Beard came across this model response from an academic of a previous generation:
In my 24 hour continental timetable I divide my time each day as follows:
2 hours of pure sleep
1 hour of sleep dreaming about administration
2 hours of sleep dreaming about research
1 hour of sleep dreaming about teaching
½ hour of pure eating
1 hour of eating with research (= reading)
1 hour of eating with colleagues and of conversation on teaching and research
½ hour of pure walking
½ hour of walking with research (= thinking)
12 ½ hours of research with preparation for teaching (= reading, writing or also thinking)
1 hour of official teaching without thinking
1 hour of official administration without thinking
For ever yours
'Nuff said, I think.
June 18th, 2014
— World Cup Problems (@WorIdCupProbs) June 15, 2014
June 17th, 2014
Programming language based on the one-liners of Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Although the one-liners of Arnold Schwarzenegger are fairly well known the true semantics of the uttering is yet to be understood. This project tries to discover new meanings from the Arnold movies with the means of computer science.
TALK TO THE HAND "hello world"
YOU HAVE BEEN TERMINATED
Be sure to consult the wiki for further details.
[Via Waxy.org: Links Miniblog]
June 13th, 2014
It all starts out so innocently. You might notice one or two on the ground under a rose bush or near a climbing vine, but you don't think much of it. Then one day you go outside and realize your entire garden has been overrun. What are your options? You could coat everything with some highly-toxic pesticide and hope for the best. Or you could install a Kaiju in your garden, guaranteed to get rid of those pesky gnomes. This guy spares gnone.
June 13th, 2014
Godzilla (2014): The Abridged Script is pretty funny…
EXT. THE PHILIPPINES – 1999
KEN WATANABE and SALLY HAWKINS, who work for a SECRET ORGANIZATION that is so top secret they put their LOGO on their helicopters, and have a LOGO, arrive at a MINING SITE.
MINING SITE GUY
Welcome, Ken and Sally. Check out this enormous fossil we discovered! There's also a giant hole leading to a giant trench where something giant escaped and is headed towards populated areas, but fuck that.
My God, it's… amazing.
And look, two egg-sack things, one of which has hatched! Well, I'm sure Godzilla will be along soon to take care of it, restore balance to Nature etcetera, because that's what he does, right Ken?
My God, it's… still the prologue, Sally, so not yet. […]
Be sure not to miss the caption on the still at the start of the script. Why didn't I notice that when I first saw a clip from that scene in a trailer?1
- Answer: I was too busy gaping at one of the first decent views we got of this version of the King of the Monsters. ↩
June 8th, 2014
I didn't think I was one of those people but I've just spent about ten minutes laughing at this: pic.twitter.com/6sxH6hWd6x
— Tom Coates (@tomcoates) June 8, 2014