Tickle

March 9th, 2014

Tickle is another spoof app from the man who brought the world Jotly:

Tickle is a new app that will help you get out of awkward situations. Using your phone's accelerometer, Tickle will generate a phantom phone call when you touch your phone in an awkward manner. […]

Unlike Jotly, this is a spoof app that the world could definitely use.

[Via swissmiss]

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Michael Bay's 'The Dark Knight' [Guitar solo]

July 20th, 2013

I can't believe I failed to notice Michael Bay's Rejected "The Dark Knight" Script when it first appeared:

EXT. A HIGHWAY – DAY

The Batmobile is gunning down the highway at over 200 miles per hour, weaving through traffic. Every time BATMAN is about to crash into a civilian, the camera enters ultra slow motion and we see him barely squeeze by, frame by frame. This happens seventeen times.

As BATMAN whizzes by cars, he attracts the attention of a young passenger in a nearby vehicle.

LITTLE KID
(pointing)

Mommy, mommy, look! Look!

MOTHER

Stop shouting, I'm trying to drive!

LITTLE KID
(watching the Batmobile)

Whoa.

The Batmobile races off into the distance. Finally, BATMAN catches up to the JOKER's zeppelin.

Good work.

[Via DirtyOldTown, commenting at MetaFilter]

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Kickstarting Democracy

March 26th, 2012

Kickstarter: Shared Access to David Cameron by RevDanCatt

Donations are normally made to the Tory Treasurer, unfortunately the current one has just recently left to spend more time with his family. When a new treasurer is found and the dust has settled I will make a donation for the full amount raised (the more we raise over the target the more time we get to spend with the PM) to sit with David Cameron for a full hour to put forward your stories, opinions and lobbying.

[…]

PLEDGE $10 OR MORE

[…]

I know a lot of people have a simple shared phrase they'd like to say to David Cameron. In the very last 10 second slot I will, to the best of my abilities personally issue this phrase to David Cameron's face.

Estimated Delivery: May 2012

[Via iamcal]

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Most likely, they'd just make it worse.

February 20th, 2012

Adrian Hon would like us to consider his modest proposal:

Imagine you're a new parent at 30 years old and you've just published a bestselling new novel. Under the current system, if you lived to 70 years old and your descendants all had children at the age of 30, the copyright in your book – and thus the proceeds – would provide for your children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great-grandchildren.

But what, I ask, about your great-great-great-grandchildren? What do they get? […]

(What they deserve?)

Seriously, it's not a new rebuttal but it's rather nicely done. The satire-blindness exhibited by multiple commenters makes for entertaining, if depressing, reading.

[Via Waxy.org links]

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Ensign Mary Amethyst Star Enoby Eiko Archer Picard Janeway Sue

February 12th, 2012

Ensign Sue Must Die!

[Via Making Light (Particles)]

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An early god exploded, or something.

December 2nd, 2011

A long lost episode of Carl Sagan's Cosmos: The Meat Planet.

Just perfect.

[Via MetaFilter]

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Too late

November 6th, 2011

The Thing: The Abridged Script gets a bit meta towards the end:

Outside, a PILOT arrives in the HELICOPTER from THE THING (1982) and finds SVEN-ERIK GENERICSSON!

SVEN-ERIK GENERICSSON

Thank goodness you're here! We've got to keep the Thing contained inside this franchise by linking seamlessly to the 1982 opening.

PILOT T. PREQUELSSON

What happens if we fail?

SVEN-ERIK GENERICSSON

If it escapes, it could spread to other 1980s intellectual properties, replacing them with soulless copies that bear a superficial resemblance but are hideous abominations inside, until none are left!

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This Blog Post: D-

October 17th, 2011

Jotly cares about you:

Your life is exciting and worth sharing: everything with everyone! Everyone cares about everything you do. Now you can rate your entire life and share the experience.

Fortunately, this is just a spoof. Let's just hope it doesn't give anyone any bright ideas…1

[Via Subtraction.com]

  1. Who am I kidding? As you read this, there are half a dozen wannabe Zuckerbergs watching the Jotly video and hoping that their service is going to make it to market before someone else sews up the rate-everything market.

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Definitely not a prequel

October 12th, 2011

I didn't think there was much you could to to improve upon John Carpenter's The Thing, but somehow it's been done.

Ladies and Gentlemen, pray silence for … John Carpenter's "The Thing": The Musical. So, so good.

[Via MetaFilter]

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"I was about to get freaky in the most liberal sense of the word."

October 10th, 2011

The Ira Glass Sex Tape:

"Well, from WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life, I'm Ira Glass. Each week, of course, we pick a theme and bring you a variety of stories on that theme. This week's theme…my sex tape."

F***ing hilarious, and an absolutely spot-on parody to boot!1

[Via The A.V. Club]

  1. It tells you a lot about my podcast-listening habits that I got about 80% of the references to other NPR personalities.

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"The future of the internet is cats…"

October 9th, 2011

Kittywood Studios: this explains so much.

[Via James Nicoll]

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Totally. Worth. It.

September 17th, 2011

We can but hope that The Muppets will live up to the high standards set by this latest teaser-cum-parody trailer.1 I can't help but notice how much fun Chris Cooper looks to be having playing a character by the name of Tex Richman. I'm thinking he's probably not one of the good guys.

[Via MetaFilter]

  1. If you're wondering about the target of the parody, see here.

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Three separate, yet equally important, groups…

August 17th, 2011

Law and Order: Gotham City.

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'Hey baby, do I make you feel horny? 'Sokay, you can just think your answer.'

August 8th, 2011

James McAvoy/Professor Xavier, arguing for the benefits of peaceful coexistence in X-Men: First Class – The Abridged Script

EXT. CIA HEADQUARTERS

JAMES MCAVOY

I'm glad I found you, Michael. Together you can help me steer this narrative towards the day I envision, when all the X-Men movies can co-exist in peace as one harmonious franchise.

MICHAEL FASSBENDER

I think you're being naïve, James. Those other movies will always resent the enhanced acting powers of this one, and always find new inconsistencies and contradictions within the series to hold against us. And anyway, why should we go to such lengths to try and fit in with their continuity, what with its toads-struck-by-lightning riddles, entire X-teams quaking helplessly when faced with a wall of water, and whatever the hell that third movie was?

JAMES MCAVOY

What do you suggest instead?

MICHAEL FASSBENDER

We could embrace the inherent superiority of this movie, reboot the series and control the whole narrative ourselves! It would be Inglourious!… I mean, glorious!

JAMES MCAVOY

And just wipe out all the events of all the other movies? How can you say that?

MICHAEL FASSBENDER

In a voice that in no way evokes that of a young Ian McKellen, THAT'S how!

JAMES MCAVOY

(shakes head)

Michael, I sympathize, but you're confused by having been isolated, running around the world making scenes way more entertaining than anything the rest of us have been doing. Trust me, we CAN make all the X-Men movies work together, and it will be the best for everyone.

MICHAEL FASSBENDER

All right, James, we'll try it your way, at least for now.

(pause)

You do realize that given the ages of our characters' actors in "X-Men" we're both at least ten years too old, right?

JAMES MCAVOY

Oh, piss off.

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Hackgate: The Movie

July 17th, 2011

‪Hackgate: The Movie. Some truly inspired casting decisions there.1

[Via Liberal Conspiracy]

  1. Marred somewhat by one really unfortunate choice right at the end.

4 Comments »

'Echo station 3-T-8, we have spotted Imperial walkers.'

July 4th, 2011

It would appear that an Imperial probe droid has located Greenpeace's secret base on Hoth:

Greenpeace spokeswoman Leila Dean says in a statement: "Almost two million people have already watched our campaign ad, which is a light hearted way of telling the truth about Volkswagen and their opposition to climate change laws. The film has been hugely successful having been shared more than any other advert in the last 24 hours. We're disappointed that it has been taken down and we're hoping it's just a case of some rogue droids and that many more people will be able to watch the film soon."

(Previously.)

[Via @flminiblog]

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The Dark Side

June 29th, 2011

Greenpeace want us to know that Volkswagen has gone over to the Dark Side.1

[Via Pop Loser]

  1. In case you missed it, the advert being parodied can be found here.

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Weaponised irony alert

June 28th, 2011

In the age of the Metaphor Program, can we afford to ignore the threat of weaponised irony?

If we don't know how irony works and we don't know how it is used by the enemy, we cannot identify it. As a result, we cannot take appropriate steps to neutralize ironizing threat postures. This fundamental problem is compounded by the enormous diversity of ironic modes in different world cultures and languages. Without the ability to detect and localize irony consistently, intelligence agents and agencies are likely to lose valuable time and resources pursuing chimerical leads and to overlook actionable instances of insolence.

[Via The Null Device]

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Lord Vader declared that 'justice has been done'

May 11th, 2011

Obi-Wan Kenobi Is Dead, Vader Says – Galactic Empire Times:

Obi-Wan Kenobi's demise is a defining moment in the stormtrooper-led fight against terrorism, a symbolic stroke affirming the relentlessness of the pursuit of those who turned against the Empire at the end of the Clone Wars. What remains to be seen, however, is whether it galvanizes Kenobi's followers by turning him into a martyr or serves as a turning of the page in the war against the Rebel Alliance and gives further impetus to Emperor Palpatine to step up Stormtrooper recruitment.

In an earlier statement issued to the press, Kenobi boasted that striking him down could make him "more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

[Via Ghost in the Machine]

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You mustn't think I'm mad, Principal Peters…

April 26th, 2011

Miss Lovecraft's Sex Ed class.

[Via jwz]

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