Night of the Lepus

September 12th, 2015

Peter Watts encounters His Royal Bun of the Exalted Yet Trailing Ears:

I'm not even exactly sure what that even is, actually. It has obviously been engineered, but by some agent lacking even the vaguest grasp of natural selection. Its continued existence hinges on actions that would be described as "Extraordinary Measures" had it landed in a palliative care ward instead of my basement. Drinking water must be provided in a special bottle, for example, because its ears would fill a conventional water bowl, soaking up liquid like a sponge. All vacuuming within a 50-meter radius must be performed without the use of any rotary rug-beating attachment, for fear the ears could get slurped up into the gears and jam the mechanism. Anyone approaching within fifteen meters must affix themselves to a ceiling-mounted track harness and keep all body parts at least 10 cm off the floor. […]

Not quite as alien as The Things, but maybe not that far off.

[Via MetaFilter]

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An Untimorous Beastie

January 3rd, 2015

Over at Crooked Timber, Maria Farrell relates the tale of life with her 'hugely fluffy and dolphin-smiling Samoyed dog, Milo':

Before Ed and I had the dog's shit to talk about, I don't know how we ever whiled away the hours. Quality, texture, main ingredients, frequency and volume. There's a lot to discuss. In this way, I have, finally, become a little bit English. For a while, there, Milo's daily rhythm was primed perfectly to require a straining squat precisely as we passed the entrance to the local Tube station at the height of rush hour. This was around the time when he was ingesting rubber bands daily. (Any reader of online gripes about Royal Mail will know a key one is how postmen discard on footpaths the rubber bands that keep packets of letters together. Another is leaving the gate open so someone else's dog can shit in your front garden.) The highlight of Milo's shitting career, however, was the party lights. […]

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Obviously, the dog needs drones!

May 2nd, 2014

The next six months will be crucial…1

It's now been around six months since we introduced Molly, the new cat, to the household. We were told at the rescue centre that one of her main personality traits was an abiding hatred of all other cats, without distinction. Observing her adventures in the neighborhood, we have found this to be true.

We can add that she tolerates humans and dislikes dogs intensely, in particular our dog, Katie. Since Katie is a Jack Russell accustomed to leading the non-human hierarchy in the house and jealous of any attention paid by resident humans to other animals, this has made life interesting. In fact, our house has become the contested territory in a four legged combat that bears quite a remarkable resemblance to a classic Maoist People's War, with cat and dog as insurgent and regime respectively. […]

  1. Credit where credit's due: post title borrowed wholesale from this comment, link text from this one.

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Guinea pig hire

September 20th, 2011

Abroad: they do things differently there

Swiss animal lover Priska Küng runs a kind of matchmaking agency — for lonely guinea pigs that have lost their partners. She lives with around 80 of the furry, squeaky little creatures, in addition to six cats, a number of rabbits, hamsters and mice in the village of Hadlikon, some 30 kilometers from Zürich.

Küng, 41, rents out her guinea pigs, a service that has been in high demand in the Alpine nation ever since animal welfare rules were tightened up a few years ago. Switzerland has forbidden people from keeping lone guinea pigs because the animals are sociable and need each other's company.

As a result, the sudden death of a guinea pig, shocking enough in itself, can also place the hapless owners outside the law if they only had two of the pets. […]

[Via The Awl]

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If Housepets Were Libertarians

May 4th, 2009

If Housepets Were Libertarians.

[Via The Adventures of Accordion Guy in the 21st Century]

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