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February 06, 2003
Afterlife Telegrams
Afterlife Telegrams proposes to use terminally ill "messengers" to deliver messages to the dead. For US$5 a word.
At least you can't accuse them of failing to be open about their chances of success. From their FAQ:
How can you guarantee that the telegram will get through after the messenger has passed on?Hoaxers, or unusually honest entrepreneurs? You decide...
We Can't... The truth is no one knows what happens when someone dies.
All that we can guarantee is this:
1) The messengers have memorized their telegrams before passing on.
2) The messengers have promised to do what can be done to deliver their telegrams to the addressees after passing.
Here is a list of reasons why, despite our best efforts, your telegram might not get through:
- Reincarnation could cause a problem. By the time the telegram can reach the addressee, he could already be back on earth.
- The afterlife could be so chaotic and confusing that it might be impossible to find a specific person.
- We can not rule out the possibility that there could be no afterlife at all.
- Maybe there are no "directories", or any other way to find people in the afterlife.
- The addressee might have changed his name.
- If the afterlife is segregated into heaven, hell and purgatory - it is possible that the messenger will not be sent to the same place as the addressee.
- It's possible that people do not retain memories of their past lives.
- Maybe the addressee does not wish to be disturbed and has the means to keep the messenger from speaking to him.
- It also might be against the "rules" in the afterlife to seek out people you don't know.
- Maybe people who die in Illinois are sent to a different section of the afterlife than people who die in Alaska.- It could be that the addressee is a ghost on earth or has moved to a different plane of existence and can't be reached.
- The addressee may have evolved into a higher state of being and can no longer communicate with the messenger.
Here is a list of reasons why sending a telegram may be entirely unnecessary:
- Perhaps the addressee already knows the information in the telegram because he has been watching over you.
- Maybe the addressee receives messages every time you think of him or pray to him.
- It could also be that the addressee is now omnipotent and knows everything anyway.
Please keep all of this in mind when deciding whether or not to use our service.
[Via Boing Boing]
Posted by John at February 6, 2003 09:34 PM
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Comments
That's a huge disclaimer! No one can say they weren't warned, they included more posibilities than even I realised
Posted by: simon at February 6, 2003 10:39 PM
Yes, they'd clearly thought about it long and hard - or else, read a lot of horror novels.
Posted by: John at February 6, 2003 11:40 PM