Caroline O'Donoghue on How I imagine an annual performance review with the dog would go:
Hello, dog. Please take a seat. I’m so glad we could find time for this little chat. Are you... Ok, you’re still sitting down. So to begin... Still sitting down. Right. Maybe the tight circular movements can wait until after our annual performance review, and you can just stand for the meantime. I know you only do the little circle movements when you’re anxious. I also know why you are anxious. You have sensed, correctly I think, that there has been a certain level of disharmony among the senior members of staff (me and Gavin) and much of that unhappiness has stemmed from our disappointment in your most recent work. […]
Probably doesn't end the way you'd expect...
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